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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Anal About Anal Sex

Dear Doreen,
My husband wants to have anal sex. We tried once but it hurt too much and I stopped him. He keeps bugging me to try again but I'm scared.
Just sign me "Anal about Anal Sex"

Dear Anal about Anal Sex,
You're not alone in your fears. Many women are intrigued by the idea of anal sex, but either had painful experiences in the past--like yourself--or are afraid that it will hurt. Anal sex should never be something you plunge into! There are ways to prepare your body for this new intrusion but they take time and patience on both sides.
Start out by letting your husband rub his lubed finger around your anus during oral sex. The lube I'd recommend is Anal Eze. This is specifically for desensitizing your anus enough to take away the mild pain of something touching your virgin flesh but not the pleasure. Get used to feeling him touching you there before moving towards him delving deeper. He can start with his pinky and work his way up to longer fatter fingers over time. When I say time, I don't mean minutes. I mean nights! Before long, you'll always want his finger in you during sex. Yes, it feels that good!
Now you are ready to move forward!
Many items on the market nowadays can help you loosen and stretch your anus. Butt plugs are not just for fun. They come in various sizes for a reason. The smaller, slender ones are best for the beginner. Try using this a few times. Buy lube and glob it on. You may find that you no longer need or want the Anal Eze, but you must lube. I'd also advise using a vibrating butt plug the first time. The vibrations will relax you and have you coming before you know it! Give each size time as you work your way up to the bigger sizes. You don't want to rush this.
Once YOU feel ready, take that butt plug out of your husband's hand and let him know that you're ready for the real thing.
A word of caution: Whenever you put anything into your anus, you should stop if you feel real pain. I'm not talking about that yummy burn. I'm talking pain. Also, condoms are the best way to avoid stds and infections. Wash all your toys and your lover's finger and/or cock afterward.
And remember,
if it feels good, it ain't bad!
Doreen Orsini
To have your question answered, post it in a comment or email Doreen at doreen.orsini @ (no spaces).


  • At 2:56 PM, Blogger Echo said…

    oh good advice Doreen *S* another thing about anal sex is that if your hubby gets you good and hot it also helps you relax more and not clench up when he goes to do anything anal - so unless you are used to anal sex never just start off with it

  • At 2:51 PM, Blogger Shea said…

    A little wine helps relax one as well!


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